Then let’s write a blog post, shall we? Ha! I have an excuse for being a little high. I used a strain of (medical) marijuana that I don’t take very often, so its effects are a bit stronger. As welcome and intended results, my stomach is feeling less soupy and my anxiety is down. Perfect.
So far this year I’ve lost 33 pounds. I’m extremely happy about that and intend to lose about 70 more. I give myself rewards for hitting certain goals, like when I lost 10 pounds I bought myself some new earrings, and when I hit 25 pounds, I downloaded a new album. Which album, you ask? Taylor Swift’s 1989. Yes, I’m a few years behind the times. And I absolutely LOVE the album! It has so many great dancing tunes on it. Fun, fun! And so I continue on my weight loss journey with the added benefit of dancing as exercise.
I am happy to announce that, as motivation, I signed up to walk a 5k, the Great Pumpkin Run! It’s a virtual 5k, so I can walk it any time between September 1st and November 11th, then log my results online. I’ll get all the swag of a regular 5k but without the embarrassment of other people seeing how incredibly slow I am. I’m so excited! I’m still a beginning walker, as I only tend to do 20-minute stints, but I’m working on building that up. I went online and found a terrific-looking “couch to 5k” walking plan, so hopefully that will whip me into shape.
My anxiety is back already. It’s not because the pot didn’t work, just that it wears off after an hour if you only do one puff. I have been having a lot of trouble with anxiety lately, and depression. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and all was hunky dory, and then I found myself going back a month later feeling on the edge of needing hospitalized. My doctor suggested adding Abilify to my regimen before switching completely to a new antidepressant. This is my 6th day on it. It’s killer on my stomach (hence the soupiness) and makes me a bit tired and fuzzy. I’m getting used to it, but it’s hard. My doctor said it would only take a few days to a week for it to begin making me feel better, and of course the typical 6-8 weeks for the full effect to kick in. So let me tell you how it’s going.
The first couple of days were pretty rough. I felt tired and sick, so much so that I didn’t feel safe to drive and cancelled my appointments. Then I started to feel better mentally, but not physically. As someone with rapid-cycling Bipolar I, I’m acutely aware that my moods are all over the place. I also get a little leary when my mood feels too good. And wow, have my moods been cycling like mad! I haven’t established a new baseline yet. That baseline is currently still too low, and I’m afraid the uptick is a little too up there. I’ll give it some more time.
In the meantime, I’m working on things around the house. It feels good to get things done, but fibromyalgia makes that extremely difficult. My shoulders have been especially bad. I stretch them and use the heating pad, ice pack, diclofenac gel, and even a sling when it gets too bad. I do a little work on the house and then take a really long break. With my current mental state, I get easily agitated while sitting and resting, so then I have to get back up and do something else. That almost sounds good, like hey, you’re being really productive, girl!, but let me assure you, it’s no fun. If my fibro wasn’t acting up so much lately, it probably would be awesome, but it just hurts. Agitated and incapable is a bad combination. Still I plug away, and I cry.